Bernkastel's Kitten
by AlunaSama
Summary: CRACKFIC FOR MY SUKI. Bernkastel is getting bored watching Beatrice play with her new furniture. What will she do when she finds a kitten in the Rokkenjima wilderness? OOC. Oldish. Set end of Episode 2ish, where I was when I wrote it.


"Beatrice-sama." Frederika Bernkastel began softly, peering over the cup of Earl Grey that she had requested humbly, as she continued to watch the game being played in the Meta World, "...I must say, I am a little jealous of you."

Beatrice paused what she was doing with the chains she had wrapped around her arms to keep them neat, and stopped to stare at the usually quiet Frederika, "What is it, Bernkastel?" she asked, with a taunting voice, "Are you getting bored already? I promised I wouldn't disappoint you, I should stop having my fun?"

"No. This is quite entertaining, however..." she paused, staring at was the human at the end of said chain, "Seeing you obtain an enemy like that, and making him into something of a pet...it's enviable." she murmured, wondering for a moment of Lambdadelta would ever submit to a man to the degree of being a pet. Battler growled.

"I haven't given up yet!" he said, The chain was yanked, and his body was pulled into the floor.

"Ushiromiya Battler, it's unwise for you to speak when you aren't being spoken too." said Beatrice, with a voice like honey, before cackling all the while.

Battler dug his hands into the carpet, "Damn you witches...damn it...." he said, buying his face into the carpet to hide a few of his manly tears. Bernkastel sighed.

"Pets are..nice." she said, in a voice that was belittling and scolding Battler at the same time, before reflecting on her own statement, "However..sometimes disobedient ones are more fun...aren't they." she added. Battler wasn't sure if that was a compliment his way or an expression of Bernkastel's own boredom.

"Do you wish to have a pet that badly, Bernkastel-sama?" asked Beatrice, cocking her head to the side with an amused expression, "It wouldn't be that difficult for me to lend you mine while you find one of your own.." she expressed, trying to make sure she didn't lose her respected observer.

"I have no desire to separate you and Battler." said Bernkastel, sipping on her tea, "But finding one of my own is..." she murmured, liking the idea and putting down the cup, "..Interesting."

"It shouldn't hurt for me to take a quick break to grant a Miracle to the Witch of Miracles herself." giggled Beatrice, smiling innocently, "However, are you certain you want a disobedient pet just because it'll be more fun? After all, it'd be a whole lot of trouble.."

Bernkastel stared at Beatrice, "If I am going to get a pet, I am not going to get it from you." she said wisely, "You probably aim to torture me with it the moment I get attached,"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't.." said Beatrice with an airy tone, before getting on her knees and forcing Battler's head up, grabbing it by the air and pulling it into her lap, "But...I might merely be doing it because I want to join two lonely souls I know of." she said, petting Battler's head degradingly, "Of course, I'm not really going to lend you Battler, he's my furniture!"

Battler's head moved wildly after he remembered he was being made fun off, "Ha, let go of me! What are you going to do, pull a puppy out of thin air?" he growled, once again butting into the conversation for no real reason other to hear his own voice. Beatrice dropped his head back on to the floor, since he wanted to be away from her that bad.

"Don't be silly, Battler." said Beatrice, using her sweet tone again, "Bernkastel is obviously not compatible with dogs."

Bernkastel cocked her head slightly, forgetting for a moment the one thing that made that fact painfully obvious. Her blue tail slowly creeped up in the chair and curled, almost becoming a question mark to her confusion, before Bernkastel noticed the unconscious action, "Oh..yes. Yes it is obvious I am not a dog person, with this.."

"However. I do know of some wildcats that are in the forest of Rokkenjima. That is far more her style, and it seems a lot less suspicious doesn't it?" Beatrice cackled, standing up and swinging her pipe. Bernkastel was still suspicious.

"I might..go and check them out later..but promise me you aren't out to make me another form of entertaining yourself, you are too busy with Battler for that. And I am to busy watching you be busy with Battler for that." said Bernkastel, staring with emotionless eyes.

Battler whined, "That sounds so wrong!"he said, "That's so wrong, a Lady shouldn't say something like that!" he said. Beatrice laughed a bit.

"Don't worry, I am sure there is no reason for me to interfere. I never interfere. I just have a feeling that your wish for a bit of conflict might lead to astray." Beatrice giggled and cackled, having fun at Bernkastel's slight loneliness. Bernkastel stood up, sighing.

"Actually, I might leave you two alone for a moment." she said, starting to get a little frustrated by this, "I'll be back later." she said, dissipating in the way that was custom for a witch. Beatrice cackled.

"Oh, I feel I might have offended my guest. But some privacy does have its merit, after all." said Beatrice before cackling some more. Battler felt like his manhood was in danger.

-----

Bernkastel had taking Beatrice's words to heart. She did want a pet. Her selfish admittance of that, and the fact she thought Beatrice's struggle to keep Battler under her control looked fun, had made her weak to getting teased by that witch because those were honest feelings. Wildcats? Could there possibly be such a thing in an isolated place? Weren't they more likely to live in different areas?

Of course, this didn't change the fact that this felt extremely tempting. Bernkastel was just as wise as the Golden Witch, if not more. She could easily hide the fact that she indeed had obtained on of these kittens while her and Battler were focused in another section of the game board. She didn't have to take it back with her.

Actually, no, wait. She had to take it back with her, because unless this game is the last round (in which case, Bernkastel will feel very bad for leaving) then the island would reset, and the odds of the cat remembering her are almost zero. Being the witch of Miracles, she could make a miracle occur to do such a thing, but it'd be more efficient to simply take the cat and hide it.

But where should she hide it? She had no idea. Beatrice would definitely notice and start planning a way to toy with Bernkastel with the cat. The obvious solution would be to obtain the cat, and have fun, but not to grow attached to it so she could bring it back into the Meta World without running the risk. It would be sort of easy, but part of Bernkastel felt maybe part of the fun would be to let herself get attached...she could be off base, but Beatrice probably wouldn't like Battler being taken away from her under any circumstance.

...There would be no more of this reflecting. She would go to the forest, see if these wildcats were anything worth her time, and if not she'd return to the room and simply ask to mess with Battler along with Beatrice. Beatrice didn't mind sharing too much as long as she got to touch, she figured. Bernkastel could easily just pour some hot tea on him or something.

Deciding on this plan, she transported herself to the forest. This island is about ten kilometers across, a bit over six miles in western measurement. That would take a while to search by foot, but she began her search through the forest in a restful manner, not in any sort of hurry. She was the Witch of Miracles, she couldn't get lost obviously, and if she needed more luck to find the cats then she had it stored.

To her luck, however, that was necessary. Before her laid a mother orange-ish wildcat with a few smaller ones suckling, each with slightly different colors and patterns to tell them apart. But, apart from them, was another kitten on its own and not eating, licking its fur. Her attention was obviously drawn to that one, because of that. Had the kitten already finished eating?

Bernkastel reached her hand down and put her fingers near the cat. The cat, however, jumped back and stared up at Bernkastel with suspicious eyes. Bernkastel blinked, unmoved, "...Sorry." she murmured, reaching out again and putting her fingers on the cats head. The cat, still defiant, turned its head up and bit on longer fingers.

The teeth where to small and young to really hurt her, but, the emotion seemed to get across the same way. Bernkastel's tail raised immediately, sticking straight out. The cat noticed the tail and let go of Bernkastel's fingers...had he realized that, in a way, he bit one of his own and felt sorry?

..Unfortunately not. The cat jumped and grabbed on to the tail with unexpected strength. Bernkastel uncharacteristically lost her cool and began shaking her tail wildly, "Get off of me! Get off!" she called, shaking it wilder and wilder, but the cat refused to come off of her tail. She eventually got sick of it and grabbed it, forcing it to stay still within her group.

"..Insolent animal.." said Bernkastel, finally cooling down. The cat was under her control now. It scratched at her arms, but with revenge in mind she kept holding on to it as though nothing were happening at all. She squeezed it lightly.

The animal cringed, as much as a cat can cringe, obviously uncomfortable and had some air knocked out of it. It was too tired to keep scratching after being less able to breathe. Bernkastel, satisfied, cradled it in her arms and began to tickle lightly at its stomach.

"There, is it all out..?" she asked. This was already more of a handful than she had planned. However...that fact that it was a handful still made it appealing. Not because she still had a fantasy of taking care of this animal, but she knew how to use its annoying rebelliousness to her own advantage. Scheming, she whisked herself away from the forest and returned to the meta room...almost immediately wishing she hadn't.

Battler was on the floor, tied up in the chain and forced into a sprawled out position. It was obvious that Beatrice had just gotten him on to the floor, so she probably interrupted the start of something more horrible for Battler..when isn't something she planned on, but would already start Beatrice's irritation.

"Oh. So you are back already." said Beatrice, pouting slightly and crossing her arms. With a tapping motion of her pipe, the chains were brought back into a neat single one, and Battler was forced to be sitting in the chair they used when they were playing, "I suppose it's time to get back to playing...hey, did you get one of those wildcats I told you about?" she asked with a snigger.

Battler looked at it and actually managed a bit of a smile, "Ha, so there is such a thing on the island after all. It's kinda cute." he joked. Bernkastel held it for a few moments before putting the cat on the floor.

"You can play now." she said, with a soft smile. The cat took one look at Bernkastel, eyed her tail with greedy eyes...but turned to the hem of Beatrice's dress instead. The cat took a dash and pulled at it with her teeth.

Beatrice was shocked, "What is this, what is this!?" she yelled as the kitten managed to pull her dress far back enough that she was knocked on to her back clumsily into the table behind her, crashing some of the tea cups. Battler laughed like a maniac as the Kitten proceeded to run up her leg, making sure to claw her as he went, and began to chew on Beatrice's undergarments. Beatrice was too surprised to remember she could easily kill the beast.

"Get it out!" she cried, kicking her legs back and out, as Battler went to stand next to Berkanstel...he managed to get a show out of that.

"I see London, I see France.." he chirped, as Beatrice finally managed to gain her cool enough to reach down her dress by taking her arm out of one sleeve and grabbing the kitten. The Kitten, irritated it had to go back through the sleeve hole and was now outside of the dress, stared blankly at Bernkastel, who seemed pleased with the chaos she had caused, as Beatrice stood up.

"A rebellious pet really is more fun. But I don't think it brought me any troubles, Beatrice-sama." she said softly, walking up to Beatrice and taking the cat into her arms, betting him softly. As though the cat understood he was being rewarded for his wild actions, he purred gently. Battler laughed heartily. Beatrice felt guilty for proposing the idea.

"Don't we have a chest game to get back to work on?" she growled, patting the dirt off her dress and resisting the temptation to be so rude as to kill the cat.

"Yes, yes, I believe we do. Not that you are not too busy tying me up, Grandma panties." laughed Battler, smirking and showing teeth as he sat back in his chair. Beatrice cackled, the challenging statement bringing back some of her mood.

"If you think I am ashamed, then you haven't gotten to know me well." she laughed, looking down at the board. Bernkastel kept petting her kitty.

"That livened things up..if only for a moment." she murmured to the cat, "Back to this game..." she added, wondering if the cat would understand or begin to attack her again. The cat meowed and watched. Bernkastel began to believe the cat had the same belief about boredom as her.


End file.
